it’s so annoying how people are so interested in what happens in my life. like i can promise you its not that great. shit can happen to me at like 10 and everybody will be talking about it at like 1030. honestly unless i’m sucking your boyfriends dick, hop off. and i can assure you that i am in no way shape or form sucking anyones dick. like i usually make it a point not to talk shit about people, but i’m gonna make an exception just this once. people fucking judge and judge but they don’t realize they are ten times worse and more ridiculous. like stop bitching about my life when yours could use some fixing up too. what i do is my business so lets keep it my business. most of the people that talk shit don’t even know me anyway, so how fucking dare you talk shit about someone you don’t even know. you have no idea what that person is going through so stop being a little bitch and think for a second. and this isn’t aimed toward one person its aimed toward everyone who’s doing it. talk to me not about me. k thanks.

i need new friends. actually friends in general haha. i have my two closest friends and honestly we’re not even that close anymore. it seems like we drift or they always have plans with other people or something. it’s just either awkward or straight up annoying. i’ve always wanted that one best friend that you were closest too and told everything too and whatnot. and i’ve never ever had that. i feel like i’m left out or people don’t tell me things or they’re just plain rude to me. like it sucks because i want friends, and a best friend. who doesn’t? if i had anything close to a best friend it would be my sister or Cameron. and not that i don’t love it, it’s just not the same when your best friend is part or your family, or a boy. it makes things different. i sould like a total loser haha but i swear i’m not. good people/good friends are just hard to come by these days. 

this is my first time on tumblr since like december! thats crazy because i used to think i was so addicted. i’ve been creeping on everyone for like hours and reading all the little things you people post about your lives. honestly it just made me sad and reminded me why i stayed away from tumblr. its like facebook and twitter kinda, things your addicted to, but they fucking suck because you go on and you find out all this shit that you could have been 1000x happier not knowing. but anyways its too late now, i’ve been on i’ve seen it all :P so now i decided i’m going to write about it. maybe just this once or maybe a few times, i don’t know. first i thought i should write about my life. because i know everyone’s talking, whether they want to say it to my face or not. i don’t want to sound like a bitch, because i’m not trying to be one at all. so my boyfriend and i broke up in december, but we stay together i guess as much as we can. pretty much the deal is that we were forced to break up, we didn’t end things by choice. so i still love him with all my heart and he tells me he still feels the same too. i feel lucky because he is so good. he wants to wait for me and he wants to be with me and i’m so grateful for that. mostly my pride gets in the way of everything. he has to go to prom with another girl, because i can’t go with him. i don’t know this girl personally since we’ve never talked, so i’m not going to say bad things about her. he says he wishes he could go with me and all that, but i’m just embarassed. and i don’t even know why. its like i don’t know what he’s up to all the time or who he talks to or anything. so i don’t want to look like i’m hanging on to him while hes out and about doing other shit. i let that get in the way of us because i don’t want to be the girl to look stupid. i don’t want people to talk and be like look at her she’s so pathetic. i had plenty of that in my last relationship, thanks. anyways none of these small details matter really. the point i wanted to get across was we broke up not because we wanted to but because we had to and i believe we are completely still in love with one another. i just wanted people to know what’s really up. and if you have any questions please just ask me. i’ll appreciate it and i can guarantee you’ll get the facts much quicker. i just don’t like when people talk shit but they don’t know the whole story and the real truth. okay back to what i was saying about other people’s life posts. i feel like everyone’s so sad and broken and everyone thinks no one knows what they’re going through but i read all your stuff and i’m like omg, this is me. it makes me sad to know other people feel this way but it gives me hope in a way because you realize you’re not alone and you’re not the only one. this sounds like total bullshit but its not, i just wish everyone could be happy and feel good about themselves. i hardly know a lot of you but i wish i could help you all. so if anyone ever just needs a friend to talk to or someone to listen, i’m here. i wish someone had said that to me when i needed it so i’m saying it to all of you. okay this is all i have to say for now :) 

no i have no way of getting on, no computer everr!